Kan - fused Part 1

A major chunk of my life has been spent in delusions just as "Shakespeare uncle " said - to be or not to be. Its not that i m unable to form decisions that are rock-solid, its just that i need some confirmity for my own self. Half the time I keep wondering loose over issues that arn't even trivial (thats what Tavi says). For instance if I wanna pursue photography why do i require to think twice ? Just shoot!! But no!! Am gonna linger and sulk over the idea of not accomplishing it as long as i can remember. Just coz of some priorities which had to be kept a step ahead of own "classic visions". We homo sapiens are a gifted race and delusions, confusions are kind of perks that we are blessed with. How many people could actually claim they have crystal clear dreams and visions (with all due respects to those who dream to be the next president or prime minister).
As a kid I loved dancing (dont laugh!). So i enrolled myself for these really nice western dance classes. I was aint that bad except for the fact that i crammed a few feet and dashed into a few gals who were trying to figure when this ridicule would end. (oh kay i am patheric). These years I decided not to give up unless i saw myself settling for science club (I am not a nerd!!) in spite of craving and watching in envy at those who shook thier booty at "my heart goes sha la la la". Who knows i coukd have been the next Farah Khan ;) ???
Its tough givin up what you love the most. The deluded, detoriated soul's craving and thirst might not be quenched but you stay satisfied you made someone happy. Sometimes my mom says its important to see and feel what others want from you. Its kind of "necessary" rather "mandatory" to actually do what others want from you. And the worst part is the battle that begins inside -  you vs them. And the evergreen aspects of life - how can i be happy if the world around me isnt ??? Right !! Jerk!! Its kinda tough wanting to be and not wanting to be. When two extremes clash its different and difficult to understand the reaction and more complicated to actually decide which extreme to side with ....